Here at Dodgy Perth we don’t pretend to know much about modern art. Which is okay, because it turns out no one else does either.

In 1953 the first significant exhibition of modern art was held in the Art Gallery, including works by Picasso, Leger, and Le Corbusier.

The public response was predictable. Letters poured into the newspapers decrying the monstrosities hung on the walls, demanding to know why the artists had not been locked up in an asylum. Most visitors regarded the whole show as a bad joke.

Fortunately, the gallery’s Assistant Art Director, David Lawrance, was on hand to explain why modern art was important. So let’s listen to the wise words of Perth’s leading expert on the subject.

No one knows what modern art is about, but it will have an important influence on the average kitchens of tomorrow.

Sorry? I’m not sure I heard you correctly.

“It is difficult to arrive at what exactly is meant by modern art,” he restated, but it has influenced modern kitchen design.

Okay, moving on. David was asked what one painting next to him was all about. He blushed, turned aside and whispered to an aide: “What is its title?”

As the audience began to snigger, the art expert helpfully added “Your guess is as good as mine,” making everything clear.

He ummed and he ummed some more.

As a picture, it is quite good in its balanced shapes and variation in colour. But the meaning… I’m a bit lost!

Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes today’s lesson on modern art. Thank you for attending.