Build character, with laxatives

Laxettes_Page_1

Sunday Times, 3 May 1931

ALL the morning he has been touchy and naughty, and now, to cap it all, he has used a very bad word. Whose fault is it? Is he bad because he WANTS to be bad? Or is he bad because there’s something the matter with him—something his mother could easily cure?

All children get moods when they are very bad, very unmanageable, or very tearful—“cranky” moods—and it isn’t their fault. A kind of poison gets hold of them and makes them do things they don’t mean—a poison generated inside themselves, in their stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels.

That’s what’s the matter with this chap, and one or two Laxettes would cure him easily.

Laxettes, the chocolate medicine, are wonderful for “cranky” moods because of their purifying effect on ALL the organs of digestion and elimination stomach, liver, kidneys AND bowels. At the first cranky symptom give Laxettes.

Be quite sure they are genuine by buying them IN THE TIN. Laxettes are sold IN the tin, never loose, with the name on every tin and tablet.

Send coupon for interesting free literature on Crankiness, free Laxettes sample, and vital information about intestinal worms in children.

It’s not paleo, but it does have spuds

potato-milk

But where are the laxatives?

Need to lose weight? Looking for a faddish diet with little scientific backing, but plenty of newspaper stories and celebrity endorsements?

Dr Dodgy Perth prescribes the following milk and potato diet which was all the rage in WA in 1940. We completely guarantee you will see the pounds simply drop off.(*)

Breakfast One glass of milk.

Lunch Two or three baked or boiled potatoes and another glass of milk.

Dinner Same as lunch or, for variety, potato soup made with milk and potatoes.

Supper A glass of warm milk to induce sleep.

Every night (and we mean every night) take one laxative.

Follow this diet three times a week, and we’ll let you eat some real food on the other days. But don’t forget the laxatives

Why not try it. What do you have to lose? Apart from the kilos. And maybe your health and sanity.

(*) Dodgy Perth survives exclusively on beer and cigarettes, and has never tried this diet. Consult a registered practitioner before embarking on the latest celebrity fad. Or don’t. It’s up to you, really. You’re a grown up. (If you are not a grown up, please do not try beer or ciggies. They’re bad. Really bad.)