The Inglewood Nazis


Looking so, so sexy in their fascist outfits

Some people have mixed emotions about Reclaim Australia and the United Patriots Front who are protesting the ‘Islamification’ of WA. But Dodgy Perth salutes them. It takes a special kind of bravery to stand up in public and let everyone see what kind of knob end you really are.

So to celebrate the rise of Neo Nazis in Perth, we present a time when there was no ‘Neo’: the 1930s. Welcome to the Nazi Party of Western Australia. Yep. Actual, honest-to-god Nazis.


Busselton was not as nice to Uncle Adolph as Inglewood

Being a stylish bunch of fascists they did not want the brown or black shirts associated with tasteless European evil, so they went for an attractive shade of blue. When matched with a peaked cap it made them both quite fascistic and, to be perfectly honest, a little like a 1970s gay clone.

The local branch of Nazis was headed by W. G. Tracey, a man so awful The Racial Purity Guild of Australia was embarrassed to be connected with him.

And Tracey must have been humiliated when his main opponents, the Communist Party, decided they couldn’t be bothered protesting his miniature Nuremberg Rally at Riley’s Hall in Inglewood, on Beaufort Street.

“After careful investigation of the so-called National Socialist Party,” said a Commie spokesman, “we have come to the conclusion that the organisation and its leader can be ignored.”


If you want to make a pilgrimage to the site of WA’s first Nazi rally, the building is now an excellent Himalayan-Nepalese restaurant, which Dodgy Perth can recommend from personal experience.


On racist cows and racist folk

Halal, is it meat you're looking for?

Halal, is it meat you’re looking for?

The suave, sophisticated types of Reclaim Australia have taken to the streets to deliver their message of peace, love and understanding this weekend. Dodgy Perth would like to offer the following contribution to their brave stance for intercultural harmony.

As far back as 1887 it was realised that Western Australia’s future would depend on our neighbours, and not just England. In particular, this meant doing business with Singapore.

Western Australian beef and lamb was much desired there, and live exports could begin immediately. Bizarrely, however, there was resistance from some Singaporean butchers to dealing with Aussie bullocks. They claimed our cattle were racist and would attack non-Europeans.

We suggest there is more to this than meats the eye (see what we did there?). Perhaps the local butchers did not want to disrupt their existing relationships with suppliers.

The main ship to conduct the trade was the newly constructed Australind. The owners considered having a built-in freezer for frozen meat, but abandoned the idea because it was too high a cost to run refrigerated receiving depots at both Singapore and Java.

In any case, since most of the consumers were Muslim, the frozen meat trade was hampered by the need for it to be halal. One enterprising steamer running between Java and Queensland had already invested in having a Muslim priest and butcher on board who did the slaughtering with all the necessary rites.

It took Western Australia a long, long time to catch up with Queensland’s halal certification scheme. This was a shame, since other states, including South Australia, were eyeing up the market, and a lack of action would cause a loss of jobs.

Other WA exports were less successful. Singaporeans were quite snobby about their horses, and they considered West Australian horses pathetic. Too weedy and not of sufficiently good breed, it was said.

Also, in the late 1880s a previous successful product, sandalwood, was becoming less and less desired. The major purchasers were the Chinese community in Singapore, who needed the wood for incense burners. However, the young Chinese preferred smoking cigars, drinking champagne and riding fast horses, to worshipping at a temple. So the market for sandalwood had collapsed.

So, exporters have known for more than 128 years that the market drives the product. If Southeast Asia want halal meat, then halal meat is what we must provide for them. Also, we need better horses. And more devout Chinese people.

The last one is a little tricky, but we’ll see what we can do.

White Australia, I could be one of your kids


Frederick Vosper, looking bohemian and not at all like a bigot

We in the Dodgy Perth office are in favour of people using their democratic right to protest against mosques. It makes organising dinner parties much easier when the bigots have outed themselves.

But before we get too smug and believe only the Victorians have a racism problem, a quick look back at the Anti-Asiatic League which was formed at Coolgardie in 1894 to ensure only white folk worked the goldfields.

All-round racist, and founder of the Sunday Times, Frederick Vosper explained to a public rally that the average Afghan had first come to Coolgardie as a mere camel driver. By working hard he had gradually become a storeman, then a member of the police force. Eventually, some Afghans had obtained work with the council.

Naturally such an evil could not be allowed to go unchecked, Vosper explained, so whites had been forced to found the Anti-Asiatic League to stop hard-working Muslims getting jobs.

Being a clever chap, Vosper had noted whites and Afghans had different religions. Therefore, he said, the two races could never be on friendly terms. Not only that, the buggers were so dirty they polluted the water supply just by using it.

Warming to his theme, Frederick explained that since dogs were quarantined to stop rabies, Muslims should be quarantined to prevent leprosy. And just like he would today, Vosper read a few out-of-context lines from the Qur’an to prove Muslims hated Christians.

Either the white man or the Afghan must go, he declared. The miners, at any rate, were determined that it should be the Afghan.

The Anti-Asiatic League roared its approval and this tolerant nation took one more step on the road to White Australia.