Mrs Dodgy Perth has asked us to tighten our belts a little. Apparently we have been ordering far too many Margaret River reds, and eating out should be a little more Dominos and a little less Fraser’s.

Naturally we have taken this command well and not over-reacted at all. Which is why from now on Mrs Dodgy Perth will be eating only Depression Era food at home until she admits she is being unreasonable.

So until we get our credit card back the following 1932 recipes are all we are prepared to serve.

MOCK CREAM

You know what it’s like. Guests come round unexpectedly. You open up the special can of fruit salad you’ve been saving for an exciting desert. Suddenly the full horror hits. You can no longer afford cream.

Panic no more.

Put one cup of milk on to boil. While boiling, moisten a dessertspoon of cornflour with a little milk. Then stir the moistened cornflour into the milk and cook for three minutes, stirring all the time.

Place in a basin to cool, and, while so doing, beat a dessertspoon of butter and a tablespoon of sugar to a cream with a wooden spoon.

Stir in the cornflour very gradually, one tablespoon at a time. The ‘cream’ will then materialise.

SALMON PIE

Since you can no longer look forward to a nice piece of fish each Friday, you’ll have to make do with tinned salmon.

Open a tin of red salmon, and empty into a pie dish liberally smeared with butter. Smash up the bones and distribute any juice from the can. Season with pepper and salt, and even off the surface.

Layer with slices from two hard-boiled eggs and cover with a white sauce. Lastly, put on a heavy layer of breadcrumbs, and dot over with small pieces of butter. Place in a hot oven and bake until brown. This will take about half an hour.

Serve with mashed potatoes and peas.