Genuine fakes

fake_plastic_food

Tastier than what we’re serving tonight

Following on from yesterday’s money-saving tips, here are a load of things we will no longer need to buy in the Dodgy Perth household. We particularly like the fake bones in the goose.

(Still no sign of Mrs Dodgy Perth giving us back our credit card, but we remain optimistic.)

MOCK GOOSE (1917)

Put one pint of dry breadcrumbs into a saucepan with a pint of water. Stir until boiling hot. Take from the fire, add six hard-boiled eggs chopped fine, one pint of chopped walnut, one pint of cold boiled rice, one tablespoon of salt, one tablespoon each of grated onion and powdered sage. Mix well and then stir in three well-beaten eggs. Place an oiled paper in a baking tray.

Form the mixture into the shape of a goose, reserving a portion for legs and wings. Put the ‘goose’ on the paper, form the legs, and put in each a piece of dry macaroni for the bone and press them against the body of the goose. Form the wings likewise and press them down near the back on the paper.

One hour before serving brush the ‘goose’ with melted butter, dust thickly with breadcrumbs, bake in a quick oven one hour, basting two or three times with melted butter. In carving cut off legs and slice body crosswise.

MOCK FISH (1945)

Grate 3 raw potatoes, add an egg, salt and pepper to taste. Beat altogether, and fry until nicely browned.

MOCK CHICKEN SANDWICHES (1945)

One tomato and a little sugar in winter, 2 tablespoons grated cheese, 1 teaspoon butter, 2 tablespoons bread crumbs, and a little onion, pinch of herbs, pepper and salt.

Mix all together, and beat in one egg. Put on fire, and stir until thick, then let get cold. This, made into sandwiches, is a great favourite with everyone. Apparently.

MOCK APRICOT JAM (1920)

Wash and scrape carrots and then cut in fine rings. Cover with water, and boil till soft.

For each cup of pulped carrots use 1 cup sugar and ½ lemon. The sugar and pulp must be boiled until it jellies.

Recipes from the Depression

depression-bread-line

The Dodgy Perth team queues for lunch

Mrs Dodgy Perth has asked us to tighten our belts a little. Apparently we have been ordering far too many Margaret River reds, and eating out should be a little more Dominos and a little less Fraser’s.

Naturally we have taken this command well and not over-reacted at all. Which is why from now on Mrs Dodgy Perth will be eating only Depression Era food at home until she admits she is being unreasonable.

So until we get our credit card back the following 1932 recipes are all we are prepared to serve.

MOCK CREAM

You know what it’s like. Guests come round unexpectedly. You open up the special can of fruit salad you’ve been saving for an exciting desert. Suddenly the full horror hits. You can no longer afford cream.

Panic no more.

Put one cup of milk on to boil. While boiling, moisten a dessertspoon of cornflour with a little milk. Then stir the moistened cornflour into the milk and cook for three minutes, stirring all the time.

Place in a basin to cool, and, while so doing, beat a dessertspoon of butter and a tablespoon of sugar to a cream with a wooden spoon.

Stir in the cornflour very gradually, one tablespoon at a time. The ‘cream’ will then materialise.

SALMON PIE

Since you can no longer look forward to a nice piece of fish each Friday, you’ll have to make do with tinned salmon.

Open a tin of red salmon, and empty into a pie dish liberally smeared with butter. Smash up the bones and distribute any juice from the can. Season with pepper and salt, and even off the surface.

Layer with slices from two hard-boiled eggs and cover with a white sauce. Lastly, put on a heavy layer of breadcrumbs, and dot over with small pieces of butter. Place in a hot oven and bake until brown. This will take about half an hour.

Serve with mashed potatoes and peas.